When Your Dreams Scare You So Much You Want To Be Boring Again

letters, love letters, ink, paper

You wake up and have that nagging feeling inside of you. Fear, your little companion, starts whispering in your ear: “You’re not good enough. You don’t have what it takes to make your dreams a reality. Just go back to sleep and forget about it, will you?”

You try to shake it off and get up because you’re a busy person. You have work to do and it feels like the pile is growing bigger and bigger as you’re lying in bed. You don’t feel like you can do it all.

This is a common scenario for all of us that want to make major changes in our lives. When we’re in a stage of transformation everything is constantly shifting and moving. Sometimes this makes us feel so small and lost that we want to crawl up in bed and make time stand still so that it stops demanding we get things done asap.

The uncertainty is drowning you. Sometimes you even wish you could go back to the numb state you were living in before you woke up and realized that you didn’t want to live like this anymore.

Will you let me be average again, pretty please?

Being an average Joe suddenly becomes so appealing that we secretly become jealous of them living in the dark with no clue of what they want from life. The constant state of change and uncertainty wears us out and slowly every bit of safety and certainty someone else has seems like heaven.

We ignore our previous experiences of living unconsciously. We close our eyes and don’t see that the average guys are waking up with a nagging feeling that’s even worse than ours.

They feel that there could be more. They sense that they are caught up in a life they don’t care about.

We don’t see such sufferings anymore because on the outside everything seems to be just fine for them. As we’ve all been perfectly conditioned to be ashamed of the pain and dissatisfaction we experience in our lives,  it’s easy to buy into the portray of happiness everyone fakes to the outside world.

When you’re in the state of constant change that comes with the decision to live consciously you feel a little lost. Your old ways and patterns are ever changing, you have all these ideas and ambitions but your life doesn’t live up to them at the moment. The people around you unknowingly remind you of your old place in life, the person you used to be.

It’s effing hard to get up every day and work towards a big goal when there’s not a single sign that you will actually achieve it one day.

It’s hard when the people close to you give you the weird looks as you tell them about your plans. When you’re not even convinced yourself that you’re not the biggest fool on earth.

Give yourself some credit for that. Allow yourself to be unhappy. Cut yourself some slack.

PS: Check to see if you suffer from depression using this credible online diagnostic tool. It’s free.

Author: Iris

Iris Barzen is a psychologist + productivity coach est. 2013.

  • again you put your heart and soul in your writing – very honest, very true. I’m sure you’ll find something brightly shining on your way. Keep in mind, that you never walk alone! hdl, tapferste aller Töchter!

  • LOVE your blog! keep it going, its cool to see you are in the start up fase. With a little more updates i will start checking your blog every day :)

    -Siri

    Question: what is the one tips you will give me if I want to do EXACTLY the same as you :P?

    • I can’t believe your name is Siri! That’s so cool, it’s Iris backwards. Wohoo!

      Great to hear that Bright Little Socks speaks to you. :) I usually post about once a week and if you are a subscriber you’ll get notified.

      As far as tips: Shoot me an email to iris[at]brightlittlesocks[dot]com and I’ll be more than happy to answer all your questions.

      Lots of love your way,

      -Iris

    • Hey Elizabeth,

      great to see you over here. And I officially allow you to kick BUT’s butt. Yeah…

      I love fizzle. It’s awesome, so much knowledge, inspiration and accountability. It has become my go to platform when I bump into problems with the blog.

      What are your goals with fizzle?

  • A beautiful post Iris :).

    This is the line that really stuck out to me:
    “It’s effin hard to get up everyday and work towards a big goal when there’s not a single sign that you will actually achieve it one day.”

    My father is a super optimist and has been an entrepreneur for most of his life so I talk to him all the time for life advice. He often talks to me about how critically important it is to have “small wins”.

    I think it is crazy important that we recognize our little wins along the journey because it allows us to keep pushing. Whenever I talk to someone and their whole focus is on this big massive huge goal I know in my heart they are going to run into problems. Yes, big goals are critical but our focus must be in the present – on the things we can do today to make those big things happen.

    A lovely post Jiu Jitsu queen :).

    • You’re right about the little wins. Whenever I forget to focus on the little successes I have every week (whooot, I’ve just published another blog post!?) it’s so much easier to get the important (or the urgent) things done.

      Wanna know one little win of mine? I know my first Ju-Jutsu technique by heart. I can’t remember the name of it, but my boyfriend and I practiced it all the time last weekend. :)

      So I’m on the road to being a Ju-Jutsu queen! :)

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