Sometimes things don’t go the way we want them to.
You want to have a baby so badly just to realize that you can’t have one because of infertility issues.
Or how about:
You want to settle down with the love of your life when your boyfriend leaves you.
Those scenarios officially suck.
If you told them to a stranger at a bar, they’d likely pat you on the back with an understanding look on their face.
Enter: Despair mode.
“I’m done! This sucks and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“Because TRAGIC THING happened, I’ll never be able to do BIG DESIRE, and if I can’t have it the way I intended, then I don’t think I want it at all. I’m sure I can’t have it.”
Yes, your situation sucks and feels hard and makes you want to hide in bed all day (totally okay way to cope by the way).
It’s natural to grieve the loss of the perfect picture reality we saw in the cards for us.
But one day there comes a time when wallowing in despair doesn’t serve us anymore. It’s getting old and there are only so many tears to be shed.
So when you’re ready, I invite you to consider this:
The universe didn’t get your order wrong.
It actually received it just fine. It’s just that for some reason that’s impossible to comprehend right this second, it had a different plan for you.
Maybe it has a better idea of how you should get there – or maybe it wants to help you realize that BIG DESIRE isn’t what you really want. Sometimes small nudges won’t do it, so we get the smack in the face.
Get this: It may actually all work out in your favor because there’s some grand plan that we can’t figure out from where we are.
It’s fine if you still wouldn’t choose the way of the universe and prefer your perfect plan that didn’t involve infertility or your partner running away.
Totally cool. But now that we got it, we better play the cards we got and see how they might actually be good cards.
So how do we get out of despair and start reading the signs?
Let’s sprinkle in some gratitude.
Here, fill in the blank:
What if this was a blessing?
My BIG DESIRE = _____________
TRAGIC THING that’s happening right now = _____________
In my own humble opinion, things suck right now. I didn’t get BIG DESIRE and TRAGIC THING makes me want to ___________.
But I wonder…
If TRAGIC THING were actually a blessing, it would mean that ____________.
TRAGIC THING is not what I wanted, but it now that I think about it, it does allow me to ___________.
My initial intention for BIG DESIRE was to feel ___________, and TRAGIC THING actually helps me get there because it ________________.
In the past, when ANOTHER REALLY TRAGIC THING happened, it felt like the end of the world. But thinking of it, it was just what I needed because it _________________ and without it I wouldn’t be ___________________.
I might not have chosen it to be this way if I had my will, but this is actually not so bad. Maybe I can trust that this is leading me where I need to go. It’s all happening for my greater good.
See? Maybe there is a blessing in the curse. And just maybe your life won’t suck forever more.
I encourage you to get out your journal and do this exercise. Get curious about how your situation could actually be a blessing.
It’ll still be hard, but things will feel a little lighter afterward. And this is just what we need to plant the seeds of moving on and being ready for goodness to start pouring over us. You know what I mean.
PS: Seriously, try it.
PPS: Hey, the worst that can come of it is still thinking that your life sucks – and that’s where you are right now anyway.